I Used To Be A Saint…

My Dear Boy,

You make me smile. I see such a bright future ahead of you. The world is your playground. You will surely go global.

You make such beautiful arguments and have such a strong moral compass. It’s cute how you struggle to sleep when you know you’ve wronged someone. It’s awesome that you have a strong position on many things. You disagree with people being taken advantage of because they are desperate. I see how you put in so much effort to sound respectful to whoever you talk to. You care about not breaking peoples’ spirit.

I see how you’re easily shocked by people’s fetishes. You used so much effort to hide your shock when that innocent-looking colleague confided in you about a threesome that didn’t go well. I admire your cowardice in being part of unethical schemes. You spend days moping because you jumped a red light. Oh my dear boy!

How I pray for you to stay naïve on these things, how I long for you to remain shocked by things that don’t make others bat an eyelid.

What about when temptation caresses you?

I see the tomorrows ahead of you…when the promotions come and men you called mentors suggest meetings that don’t sit well with your spirit. I see when you keep rising and it is so easy to become cold and callous, when people suddenly become little more than the inconsequential titles that describe their jobs.  I see when women prettier than your wife lower their cleavages in applause to your marvelous intellect.

What will become of you in Business Class? What will become of you in the executive suite of fancy hotels around the world you stay at for conferences and meetings? What will you do with fast internet and invitations to lustful adventures?  What will you do my dear boy?

Will you forget the you who strongly believed in treating people fairly when your bonus is the size of a whole department’s annual salary? How much of you will you lose on the way to the top? Will you even notice as you change? Oh my dear boy.

Remind yourself of this…

Clutch to the things that make you you. You are the culmination of the things you stand for and believe in.You will become a stranger to yourself when you start compromising.

Be careful whenever you sigh and say “What the heck.” Be careful when you ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen?” “Aren’t others doing worse?” Be careful my dear boy. Be careful of intellectual and emotional anesthesia that slowly numb you to what irked you days ago. Be careful when you compromise to please your boss against your better judgment.

It’s a slow fade my dear boy so by very vigilant. Be careful what you describe as harmless conversations; be careful when no price seems too high to pay to teach someone a lesson. Don’t let your ego blind you, don’t let pride choke you. The naiveté that’s scorned is perhaps the thing that makes you a better man than most.

For it is possible to become greater than you ever imagined without losing yourself. It is possible to become a legend with your childish lucre. It’s a lie when they make you think you have to lose one to gain the other. It’s a lie my dear boy, a blatant one.

But even if it wasn’t and you had to choose…I pray my dear boy, that you choose to be true to you. For it is worse to not recognize your own reflection in the mirror than to walk around with padded pockets and an empty heart.

Trust me my dear boy. I know this full well,

Yours Sincerely,

The Veteran Saint.