I Speak English And Tongues!

In the beginning…

I used to have a gentleman’s agreement with the devil; I stay out of your business, you stay out of mine. Whilst others sing about trampling you, I’ll whistle and look the other way. When they ask us to pray and clap as if we’re slapping you, I’ll just pocket and say the Lord’s Prayer. I will just talk to God about Him and me. In exchange, don’t get funny ideas with or for me…and we’ll be fine.”

Those were the days. I didn’t understand why praying meant hunching your back, making funny facial and hand gestures and shpicking the engrish in a shertain kindsha waayy! With a certain characteristic huskiness in the voish. Are you ‘wish me shambady?’ Like bro, take a chill pill. Why’re you going on to provoke someone who hasn’t done anything to you personally? What if he responds and thinks I’m in on it with you? lol. Those were the days. I realise now how you…ummn ‘lose yourself’ as you get deeper. The audacity that empowers you to take on things that frightened you, the realisation that you cant broker peace with the one whose thirst is only quenched by your spiritual coma.

Is ‘tongues’ really necessary?

I also used to wonder about those strange things some-way people say in prayer and called it tongues. Why not just speak plain language? Those were the days. Even now after years of being able to ‘ra-ba-ba-ba-eh’, it kinda feels weird to admit that you do speak in tongues.

I used to be very conscious of myself, I think I still am a little when there’s the need to pray around people who don’t know me that way. Wont my “Shandaskrabonda baskindera bosonda!” offend their sensibilities? Wont they become too conscious around me and pass jokes like “osofo is here” when they’re discussing a nice kissing scene? Meanwhile I like that kissing scene too!

So what does a brother do? What does a sister do when she risks enduring the awkwardness that comes with publicly doing something peculiar to a born-again Christian? Like suggesting that the office says a prayer on Monday mornings, or she exclaims “Thank you Jesus!” when everyone’s gasping “F*ck, that was close!” What does he do when he wants to ask “Have you prayed about it?” whilst everyone’s saying “Dude, you want it or not? Go for it!” What does he do?

Flaunt it!

I say, you do like someone who uses her cleavage to get attention. Do like those who brag about  the number of girls they’ve slept with because that’s where their masculinity gets its lactogen. Flaunt it!

Flaunt your tongues like a 6-pack! Put it in your best jokes. Discuss it casually. Bring it up like you’re talking about this pork joint you just discovered. Because you, better than everyone else flaunting body parts, sexual orientation and vain metrics have the right to! Why’re you shy powerful one? Why’re you shy to spread out those gorgeous wings and soar?

Should you care so much what they’ll think of your spirituality when they don’t care what you think of their vulgarity?

Whatever God has given you as a spiritual gift, don’t be shy to flaunt it. Don’t do it obnoxiously or judgementally, but do it with swag! Dolu and spirituality don’t have to walk hand in hand. Flaunt it with style without missing the point. Because at the end of the day, what you have… what we have, is what has eternal value. Let ‘em know! And here’s a theme song for this Series;